I agree… that everyone has different ways of loving. Some people say it in silence… Some people say it all through gifts… Some people say it through the way they live their Life.
Of all the expressions there are… The last one is the most powerful. Loving someone… as I have discovered…goes beyond mere words or pretty cards…The most powerful way of living in one’s love… (as it is something we all desire…) is to live in a way that itself… becomes an expression of the Love.
That is the truth of all deep love… To live in a way that loves the other person… To live in a way that the other person loves… It is also a very deeply purifying thought. To experience and to have the thoughts of sacrifice… Setting anothers’ prioraties above your own… To know that happiness that comes in the simplest act of giving.
Why do people keep saying that ‘giving can make one happy’….Because it is an escape from the feeling guilt of taking always… Imagine the hurt it will cause if you never bent to the others’ wishes… They would bear it for you… But would you want them to???
The other big truth about a marriage is that… You receive most when you give the most. Imagine a Wife at home focusing on house-keeping. Its not that she cant think of other very interesting things to do- Surf the net/write a book/practice dance/sing to herself/work out/watch a relaxing movie.
But then- she is given the important task of keeping a home that is always clean, things are in their own place.. always… Clothes are washed and ready to wear, food is cooked and hot to eat, the dishes are washed and the bedroom is clean.. stains on the floor is taken out and the bathroom is dry and clean. She cuts vegetables, folds the clothes and STILL finds time to surf the net/plan her Life and his… And know that at the end of the day… Her role is still secondary and in the background. :) She knows that it is her love… and it is her way of gaining love (and respect) by doing these simplistic, near-mechanical errands everyday. Now- if this wife Im talking about is an M.B.A graduate and has spent the last two years preparing for Powerpoint presentations… It would add a new angle to her understanding and sacrifice/discipline will it not? It is her love that lends that smile she always has when he returns from work.
(for the record, he is smart enough to push her off into University. But that only adds, does not take away from this cycle. :)
Now that… is true love. For it is done out of the simplicity of mind… that one needs to keep house… someone needs to keep house so that they can lead a happy Life together…
The truth is… at those points when one feels most that time is spent most in the thought of someone else’s well being… That is when they are being thought of, the most. The Soul comes alive the most- when they realize that it has the ability to make a powerful difference in anothers’ Life. :) It is the single driving factor for all actions/projects that shift the plates of the World or the life of one unassuming person.
Think about it.. The feeling when your classmate or colleague smiled when you gave them a surprise treat/good news or your mother when you cooked a meal for her without her asking… Its an amazingly powerful and peaceful feeling, isn’t it…
I think it’s a wonderful thing that through most simple sacrifice and acts of kindness… A big difference can be made in anothers’ Life… And to me- that is the path most worth being tread. That difference… that smile.. is worth the patience and faith it extracts from you (which are in itself, a gift to the Soul.) One gains immortality in that single sensation of selfless love. For that is when one realizes, that love is complete- in itself. There is no beginning and no end, to love.
That is the truth about God, and about love. For this reason, true love is worth finding and fighting for. It is the only thing that can give you peace in this turbulent world. For who knows, My Friend… You may not live tomorrow! :)
1 comment:
You know.. (I know, I know-Im commenting on my own blog?!) But I am writing this nearly 4 months after the day I made this post, and feel that this impassioned writing... is just that- impassioned. Though that day, I must have had a particularly vivid, (and one-sided!) view of the deal, and today- after joining school and taking on additional responsiblity.. and getting a taste of what it is... to face and take up serious responsibities..of the kind that you are directly going to feel the pain/joy of your decision well-made or badly-made.. (no fall-guy, no backup plan available)..I know the kind of grit and sincerity that it demands... EVERYDAY. Like to know that you have to go a long way to go before you can develop a big-enough margin between earning and expense.. (perhaps it will never happen?). To know you are not really in control of Life in general, but to pretend you are! and go on anyway.
Let me put in more vivid words what Im saying- To be a fresh graduate struggling to finish and begin on your first job & get married at the same time... to go to Canada for the Wife's visa when you know it will dent your pocket at a time when you cant really afford it... to know that every day, you do will be emptying your emotional and physical resources at work, but it will only add up to 'providing for a family' and not always be seen as the fantastic & sincere effort it is...To know that it will take time for the 'wifey' to figure out you make everything look easy when its not! :) (Gawd, this particular point is embarassing! :) To know no matter how much perseverence you show, this new role of 'family man' is only going to ask of you MORE... Is, I feel... one of the greatest ways, to love someone. :) ... This man.. is a perfect example.. of how people can say so much by saying so little. Quite an act to follow. And quite enough reason for me to swallow the memory of a few months of plain, pretty-boring homely toil. :)
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