Motherhood diaries

The cause for nothing-time


When I look back at my childhood, some of my most secure and happy moments are the most nonsensical things - standing near the old well and pretending it had gold inside it. Looking at the wierd bats flying between the coconut trees at dusk.. or trying to run outside in a manner that made me miss each of the  lines in the squares of the concrete - the classic signs of too-much-idle-time. Today, we parents sometimes feel whether its a good idea to give our kids idle-time as much... dont they need music class? language class? dance class? The thing is - idle time is what will give my kid a chance to figure out what to when he is not-so-idle. Why would I engage him in his most important task of day-dreaming and just-being? Heck, my best ideas and decisions - including to marry and to have kids - came from excessive day-dreaming and knowing-nothing! haha? yes, haha! 

Motherhood diaries

Oh what about the library?

The library was the first haven I ventured to to save my sanity during my early SAHM days. I was alone for much of the day with a kid who didnt talk, didnt play much nor had any self-sufficiency. Rush to the library to escape to a world with pretty shapes, where he could run without hurting himself and find out I wasn't alone in the need for such a place :)

Once parks and pools came into the frame, the poor libraries became a quieter retreat. The lingering interest was books, though. I had other mothers coming to me requesting I read to their children. Much later when my kid developed issues with frustration and tantrums, in an attempt to offer him a renewed sense of routine and calm, it was back to the library. Soon I had a kid who took my hand exiting preschool and saying "could we please go to the library?"

Not bad for a kid with satellite tv, his very own kindle and wii at home. So thats the deal about the library. :) 

Motherhood diaries

I said "no!"

I always assumed I would be the one saying "no" to my kid. It was interesting to see his eyes turn wide and look at me as this voice resounded from my mouth.. how powerful! And then he turned three. "No" is a big part of my day - either vocally or otherwise. No food.. no to baths.. no to outing.. no to washing hands or mouth. Slowly, I recognized this whole seething personality inside that toddler.

Rush for the discipline handouts right? How do you deal with a kid who has his own take on everything without taking away his right to choose and feel? I read the rules.... remove him physically.. let go the unimportant stuff... stand firm on a few.. lecture little. I literally reach for it each morning while I sip the soumpf tea (believe it or not!).

I walk across the hallway to light the holy lamp and glanced at my son. His long legs sprawled over the mickey mouse seat, his little eyes watching jake and the neverland pirates. I couldnt feed him just about anything I wanted nor get him to do anything I wanted. But maybe thats okay - not sure I wanted to be the only person who could say "no", anyway :)