It seems incredible to me now, as a mom who works, to think of the incredible self-confidence issues I faced.. even with closest friends.
How could I justify a whole day spent without a meaningful deadline?
How do I explain that I spent all day potty-training my 2 year old without people thinking Im just looking inefficent?
How do I justify feeling tired when supposedly I live in a big house with a little toddler and no money-insecurities?
The deadlines at work, harsh though they could be, can never compare to the delicate task of making timely meals for a little child who rejects everything.
The whole day at work can never equal the emotional strain of keeping sanity and cheer around a child who can take all of the energy one can give and STILL be unhappy.
Looking back - Im incredibly proud of finding the spirit to make some friends, the will to keep them and more than anything - the space in my heart to try to have some fun.
So many days it was a question of being able to feel happy despite that all I achieved in the day was just keeping the child safe and fed.
It really is a job worth thousands of dollars - considering there is nothing that can replace those years which I thankfully viewed as an incredible opportunity to pour my heart and soul into a little being who would hopefully take solace in that he is loved... as life tears at his will and self-esteem.
That job... was fighting the good fight.
This job - is just earning money.
How could I justify a whole day spent without a meaningful deadline?
How do I explain that I spent all day potty-training my 2 year old without people thinking Im just looking inefficent?
How do I justify feeling tired when supposedly I live in a big house with a little toddler and no money-insecurities?
The deadlines at work, harsh though they could be, can never compare to the delicate task of making timely meals for a little child who rejects everything.
The whole day at work can never equal the emotional strain of keeping sanity and cheer around a child who can take all of the energy one can give and STILL be unhappy.
Looking back - Im incredibly proud of finding the spirit to make some friends, the will to keep them and more than anything - the space in my heart to try to have some fun.
So many days it was a question of being able to feel happy despite that all I achieved in the day was just keeping the child safe and fed.
It really is a job worth thousands of dollars - considering there is nothing that can replace those years which I thankfully viewed as an incredible opportunity to pour my heart and soul into a little being who would hopefully take solace in that he is loved... as life tears at his will and self-esteem.
That job... was fighting the good fight.
This job - is just earning money.
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