I am convinced that no matter how big or successful or talented, successful parenting/relationships comes with bringing through extraordinary perspective in an ordinary situation. Let's talk about support. Support can mean anything - from buying missed groceries to staying silent at the right moment. I cant under-estimate this.
When my kid comes to me whining about his foot while Im furiously cooking - my first instinct to snap at him for being such an attention-seeker - seemingly corrected moments later when I realize he actually has a thorn in his foot - seems like a small thing. Built up over weeks, it is message sent to the child that 'mommy thinks his feelings are silly and annoying.' There's no point complaining that the child has upped his tantrums and refuses to engage in conversation.
Its' because a busy mind stole the stillness in the movement. Amidst all movement has to be a fierce stillness - that is aware of the progress but not really participating in the decision-making or the process. Amidst the responses to the child is the fierce awareness of our impact on the child and our choices.
When my spouse walks in and ignores the flowers I set out for him, instead on concluding I am the forgotten wife, maybe he was rushing because he wanted to fix the one thing he said he was going to fix before he left this morning but failed to do so. Maybe instead of the harsh movement, I could stay still for one moment - to say - 'maybe it is not so.' To remember the faith we have painstakingly created in each others' lives.
The stillness. That's probably why they say meditation changes your responses - for it nurtures that stillness within.
When my kid comes to me whining about his foot while Im furiously cooking - my first instinct to snap at him for being such an attention-seeker - seemingly corrected moments later when I realize he actually has a thorn in his foot - seems like a small thing. Built up over weeks, it is message sent to the child that 'mommy thinks his feelings are silly and annoying.' There's no point complaining that the child has upped his tantrums and refuses to engage in conversation.
Its' because a busy mind stole the stillness in the movement. Amidst all movement has to be a fierce stillness - that is aware of the progress but not really participating in the decision-making or the process. Amidst the responses to the child is the fierce awareness of our impact on the child and our choices.
When my spouse walks in and ignores the flowers I set out for him, instead on concluding I am the forgotten wife, maybe he was rushing because he wanted to fix the one thing he said he was going to fix before he left this morning but failed to do so. Maybe instead of the harsh movement, I could stay still for one moment - to say - 'maybe it is not so.' To remember the faith we have painstakingly created in each others' lives.
The stillness. That's probably why they say meditation changes your responses - for it nurtures that stillness within.
